Crazy~Caleb's birthday

Man!  AOL is a pain in the ass let me tell you!  I don't feel I should have to go through IE just to post a damn entry!! And did I mention it makes my music sound like shit?  But yet on AOL it won't work but on IE I can hear the music?  I am so glad I do not pay for AOL!  Yep that's right I don't pay.  It came free with my cable company! 

    Man sorry I haven't been able to post!  I've had computer time just not long enough time to sit and actually write an entry.  I just got caught up on 1 journal I still have a few more to catch up on.  My thoughts about the banners...It's AOL what do you expect.  I'm not going to leave AOL for a few ads.  And honestly I didn't even realize they were there till someone pointed it out.  I don't look at the top of a journal I could care I just like to be updated on how there life is going and there random thoughts ya know?

   Well yesterday was Caleb's birthday and we had a party for him.  It was a lot of fun.  I can't believe my baby is already 4!  Where does the time go?  And of course he had a Star Wars themed party.  We let Maddy have some cake and it was freaking hilarious!  She made such a mess!!!

Caleb blowing out his candles

Yes it is a Darth Vadar cake LOL!

Maddy enjoying her share

She was SUCH a mess!  It was soo funny!

And here's a picture of the 3 siblings

Aren't they all so cute???  We've been getting Elijah a lot more lately.  Of course his mom is still a piece of shit but we can't blame it on him right?  I think my biggest issues with the whole situation honestly was If I could make myself believe I didn't care and he didn't need to be around then I wouldn't worry about how his home life was.  Ya know?  I grow up in the same situation he is to a point and I just don't want to relive it.  So it was like out of sight out of mind ya know?  But now that he's coming around and I'm finding out more I have trouble sleeping knowing what he's going through.  For starters he lives in a house with his alcoholic mother his Grandma who is a born again christian you know the type Your going to hell because you sneezed in church.  And his aunt and his aunts girlfriend.  Not that I have a problem with that but I mean he needs a male role model.  But they live in a 3 bedroom house.  His grandma has her own room his aunt and her girlfriend share another and Elijah and his mom are down in the basement.  Elijah has this SMALL walk in closet "dungeon" with no windows or such what so ever!  But yet his mom has this HUGE room with 2 windows.  Hmm who's more important there?? Also his mom takes his to her friends house and sends him upstairs to play with the kids so she can drink!  And he told me it scares him because she yells at him and she smells bad!  Great for a 6 year old huh??  Anyways!  Moving on.

     My brother has been here constantly if he's not at school or his dad's he's here.  He hates it at home he hates the way my mom is and I can completely understand she's selfish!  And her boyfriends a piece of shit!  This man has never sat down and had a real conversation with my brother.  My mom doesn't put in enough effort with them.  He's 13 and he's been skipping and failing!  So we've had him here trying to knock some sense into him.  He did seem to be doing better he wants to live with us and we told him that when he turned 16 if he kept his grades up we would be cool with it.  But now I'm kind of stuck between a rock and a hard place.  I usually let him get on the computer which he does and he spends TONS of time online.  WHich hey at least he's not doing anything out on the streets ya know?  But turns out going through my internet cache and search engines and cookies he's been looking at Porn!  And not just regular porn but teenage porn with like 13 year olds!  Now I understand why he would want to see that but I mean come on!  If we were to get caught who would get in trouble? Ryan? No it would be Brett!  And that's BS!  And I said something to him about it and he thought it was funny!  And I blew up at him not to mention I've caught him smoke some of our cigarettes!  So what do I do?? I mean do I say something to my mom about the porn?  Because I mean if he's doing it here he's probably doing it there ya know?  And I've already tried talking to her about him being happy and such but she just blows it off!  Ugh!  Must be nice to be a parent and do no parenting!  Anyways!

   Okay now a quickie since this is LONG!  Today in school Caleb's class was learning about Thanksgiving and they had to name 3 things that they were thankful for and Caleb said he was thankful for his friends his baby sister and his name LOL!  So cute!

     Oh and this song is due to well Caleb's alway's saying he doesn't like girls that he likes boys and you know how some men get about that @@ So we've been trying to explain to Caleb that some day he will like girls and he will want to marry one.  And he said No mommy I'm going to marry you.  And I said well you can't marry me you want to be a Daddy someday don't you? And he said we'll I'll marry you mommy and then you can have two daddies loving you!  Melted my heart!  And when Brett said "you can't marry her I'm going to marry her, She's mine."  Caleb lost it and started crying!  Such a wonderful feeling to know my lil man loves me that much!  Okay but I am off!  I have ALOT more to talk about!  *hugs*