Still here

Yeah yeah I’m still here.  This is probably going to be a lengthy entry. I’ve just been depressed, Angry, frustrated, stressed you know all the normal stuff.
Think I really lost it about a week before school ended when Elijah was bringing home art work and such that Caleb had left at the old school and some was sweet but this picture just threw me….This is Caleb’s Tree scene

Now to me this picture just screams sad depressed and in a bad place.  As it does to everyone else I’ve shown it too.  All everyone says is..”Wow that’s dark.”  And that kills me!  I don’t want my baby to feel like that I want him to be a happy child a “normal” child.  Not that this makes me love him any less so don’t think that just I don’t want to have my baby suffer.  This is a really hard thing to deal with.  This disease doesn’t go away…He will be on medication for the rest of his life for this…And even with medicine it doesn’t all go away. He will still have symptoms and have problems no matter what we do.  And the meds he’s on won’t always work and we’ll have to go through the process of trial and error and to be honest it fucking scares me!
     But on to a different topic to get me to stop thinking of that..Last weekend we gout our rugs cleaned by Stanly Steemer and I am going to come right out and say it they did a Shit job!  All to the tune of $300!  And I don’t know about anyone else but to us that’s a lot of money.  So now I don’t know what were going to do…Brett knows a guy who’s compressor he works on and he stopped by yesterday and he said he’d redo the rugs for half the price and he’d even do a small patch to show us what he could do….But that’s still $150 we have to come up with. 
So completely off topic….I read “My sisters keeper” and I’m planning on seeing the movie when it comes on DVD (not going to cry in a movie theatre twice this year saving my tears for Harry Potter LOL) But I just read this article HERE and I’m disappointed!  The ending was horrible BUT it made the book ya know??  I hate Hate Hate when the completely change things in movies to veer off the whole story.
Speaking of books going to movies who’s been watching True Blood?

Man I love this show!  Just finished watching this weeks episode and it is Wonderful!  I’m loving it.  I know a few people aren’t too into this season but I’m loving it!  Sad there won’t be one this weekend but I guess that’s okay as we are going to be having company.  My Father in law will be coming Friday from Arizona and staying until the following week I believe This he leaves the following Tuesday.  Should be quite interesting considering him and his wife will be staying here.  But I better end this and get to bed gotta be up early tomorrow.  Going to try to update tomorrow with all my millions of book reviews and some new pics of the kiddos and maybe a video :)

*hugs*