Money

Sheesh where do I start?? We need money!  I mean we do have money~Just not enough if we want to cover all our bills~And have spending money!  I really hope I can get the public help~And eventually gonna try to get SSI!  I should be eligible!  People who have anger problems are!  GRR!  Why is NYS So fucked up????  Brett's not here he went to get us some good stuff!  Whoo hoo!  Maybe then I can feel good tonight and not feel so blah!  I can't believe Dr Lamanna has me on no meds!  That's fucked up!  But she had a point have to get my Bc all together so that I can get back to normal on meds!  I hate that I have to take meds to quote on quote be normal!  They way I am is normal!  Well as normal as I thought I would be!  And what is normal anyways??How does one know if there normal or not?? Who decides what is normal and what's not??  GRR Grr GRr!  Why for me this is a pretty long entry!  I jump from sub to sub but that's the way people "like me"  think!  So see you get to see the incites of a "crazy" person!  LOL!  I try to take humor in it no point in sitting here feeling sorry for myself!  Where will that get me?? No where!  No point in making it a big deal!  I just wish more people could understand that I can't help it!  Just like cancer and diabetes and such it is a DISEASE!  But because there isn't that much information about it~People don't understand it and people don't want to understand it!  I don't know how many times I have fought with my grandpa because he just doesn't understand why I can't just wake up and be happy!  And my mom doesn't want to hear anything about it because then oh no someone can blame her!  Don't get me wrtong I love my mom and all but growing up as a parent she sucked!  I know she's trying to make it up now and everyone says oh it's to late to make things right~But the way I see it is better late then never right??  Well I better get off this shit gonna wait for Brett and enjoy my night LOL!  *hugs*